- Apr 15 Sun 2012 07:19
How to Win Friends & Influence People How to Win Friends & Influence People PART ONE: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. Try to understand people before you blame others. Because it is the human nature to defend oneself while one is defeated and criticized. Besides, you would be a loathsome person while you keep picking other’s fault or weakness. Principle 2: Be honest and sincere appreciation. If you want to get someone to do anything for you want, give others what they want first. What do people want? One of the most influential American philosophers, John Dewey said, “The desire to be important.” And Freud also called it “the desire to be great.” These two prominent thinkers point out the deepest and the ultimate desire of human. Most people want included: Health and preservation of life Food Sleep Mone 澎湖民宿y and the things that money will buy Life in the hereafter Sexual gratification The well-being of our children A feeling of importanceAccomplishment is our wants. If you meet someone who achieves his/her climax, he/she must have some traits are superior to me and worthy to learn. Everyone have his/her good points, and we should give out the praise out of our hearts and be sincere. Then the person whom you give compliments to will remember your kindness and appreciate it all his/her life. Principle 3: Arouse in the other people an eager want. Find out what people really want and give it to him/her and you will get twice or three time sweeter benefits from them. Do not neglect the importance of self-expression. PART TWO: Six Ways to Make People Like You Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people Everybody likes 西裝外套 to be complimented, of course, sincerely. That is to say, if you are interested in someone, you must more or less have some admiration for him/her. Therefore, to be admired and interested is a glad thing as to be respected. In other words, you are interested in the other people and he/she will be happy to be respected and be important. Principle 2: Smile. Smile is the universal language. You cannot be angry with the person who always wears smile. Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Remember one’s name can pull the distance of each other closer. Once you call out one’s name, that one would feel special and unique. So, remember your clients’ names can make your relationships tightened. Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselv 澎湖民宿es. People have the needs to express themselves and the needs to be understood. If you want to know one more, let him/her talks. In doing so, you can take the advantages of knowing things better. Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Talking in terms of the other people’s interests benefit both sides and get wider knowledge from every speech. Principle 6: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely. Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours. People have the desire of being important and being understood. After all, human is the subject species. PART THREE: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. When one yells or scolds, there is no communication. Under this circumstance, fighting and quarrel are 租辦公室not efficient at all, because usually the words are irrational. Therefore, the best way to prevent argument is to avoid it. Principle 2: Show respect to other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.” The easiest way to destroy the trust in a good relationship is to hurt the other’s pride. While you are saying “You’re wrong,” you are also hurting one’s self-respect. It is the human nature to defense himself, even strike back when he gets attack, so as the verbal attack. In order to maintain a fine relationship, we must respect other’s opinions and feelings. Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. There is nothing more courageous in the world than admitting one’s fault. Admitting one’s fault somehow means denying oneself. However, yielding can get you more. If you have done something wrong, admit it immediately and, surprisingly, people will forgi 好房網ve soon you than you expected. Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way. Decrease the number of your enemies is to increase the number of your allies. Lincoln said, “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.” Principle 5: Get the person saying “yes, yes” immediately. Try to see things from other’s point of view and keep people say “yes.” Try to get other’s sympathy, and do not argue with them. Then, after he/she agrees with you and keeps saying “yes,” you can persuade him/her. Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People like to share and even boost when they get certain accomplishment. Be a patient listener, and let other do the speech. People will like your modest and kindness of listening. Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. Nobody likes to be commanded to do a thing. We 賣屋prefer to work out by our own methods, because the idea is ours. If you wan to influence other, help him/her in the process of thinking but leave the conclusion to him/her. In doing so, you can get the result you want and you seem not be any threat to anybody. Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of views. Be objective and considerate Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. If you want to win other’s friend ships, be sympathetic with others and he/she would regards you as his/her friends. Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives. To regard every one is honest, upright and fine. People will react as the way you expected on them, because they want to be good in front of others. Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas. Arouse other’s interests and make your thoughts and ideas vivid which won’t make other feel bored to dea 房屋買賣th. Principle 12: Throw down a challenge. It is the challenge of the jobs get people work, because one must prove himself/herself in doing difficult tasks. It’s the deep desire of human to win, to excel, and to prove. Therefore, throw down a challenge, and your employees will do it better. PART FOUR: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation If you must find fault, give praise first because it will hurt less. The person who makes a mistake knows well, so it is no use to blame him/her severely. However, if you comfort him/her first, then discuss the problem gently, he/she will thank for your kindness all his/her life. Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. Saving other people’s face and try not to harm other’s self-respects. Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes befo 永慶房屋re criticizing the other people. Show modest and polite to the others before criticizing. It proves you have the tolerance of mistakes and it is not a shame. After all, every one makes mistakes, don’t you? Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Use polite inquiries to ask people instead of commands. No one likes to be ordered, because it shows the higher hierarchy to command. Be sympathetic, and people would like to share and help. Principle 5: Let the other people save face. “Hurting a man’s dignity is a crime.” It is not important what I see the others, but is what the other sees himself/herself. To hurt one’s pride is the most dangerous thing to destroy a relationship. Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” Praise is more useful than scold, because people (even children and animals) will prove 21世紀房屋仲介 their good sides harder. To do this to your employees will get much rewards than you anticipated. Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Same theory as saving other’s face. People want to live by a good name and want to be liked by everyone. If you wan to change other’s bad attitude, praise his/her good points more, and he/she will gradually become the way you like. Principle 8: Use the encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. If you want to help others in improvement, use praise to help. Never give the negative words or methods to let him/her give up. Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. Provide the chances of discovering to others. It will help to build one’s self-confidence and arouse one’s motivation to contribute to the company. Bibliography: How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie Published by: Pocket Books 室內設計 .